There Is Only Feedback
In this series on the presuppositions of NLP, we explore foundational principles that guide personal growth, communication, and transformation. Each presupposition offers practical insights into how we perceive and interact with the world.
This post focuses on the eleventh presupposition: There is only feedback.
What Does This Mean?
This presupposition suggests that there is no such thing as failure—only feedback. Every action or outcome provides valuable information, regardless of whether it aligns with our initial expectations. By viewing outcomes as feedback, we can shift our focus from self-criticism to curiosity, exploration, and growth.
Feedback isn’t inherently positive or negative; it’s neutral. It’s information about the effectiveness of our strategies and behaviors. Whether something works or not, it gives us clues about what to do next.
This mindset encourages a proactive approach:
If something isn’t working, adjust and try again.
If something is working, refine it further to optimize the results.
Why Is This Important?
Reframes Failure
Adopting this presupposition helps us view setbacks as learning opportunities rather than failures to avoid. It’s about reframing them as part of the growth process.
Encourages Experimentation
When we remove the fear of failure, we become more open to experimenting with new ideas and approaches. This fosters creativity and innovation.
Supports Resilience
Seeing outcomes as feedback builds resilience. Instead of getting stuck in frustration or self-doubt, we can focus on what we’ve learned and how to move forward.
How Can You Apply This?
Ask Better Questions
When things don’t go as planned, instead of asking, “Why did this happen to me?” ask:
“What can I learn from this?”
“What adjustments could improve the outcome?”
Shifting to curiosity makes it easier to find solutions and avoid unnecessary blame.
Track Patterns
Pay attention to repeated outcomes in your life. Patterns often reveal useful feedback about your behaviors, strategies, or mindsets.
For example:
If you procrastinate often, ask what underlying fears or beliefs might be driving the behavior.
If a particular approach keeps yielding positive results, explore how to replicate it in other areas.
Practice Self-Compassion
Feedback is about growth, not judgment. Treat yourself kindly when reviewing results. Acknowledge effort and progress, even if the outcome wasn’t ideal.
Ask:
“What did I do well?”
“Where can I improve?”
Use Feedback from Others
External feedback can be invaluable for personal and professional growth. Instead of resisting constructive criticism, treat it as an opportunity to gain new perspectives.
Ask:
“What is this person seeing that I might not?”
“How can I apply this feedback to grow?”
Practical Exercise
Think of a recent situation where the outcome didn’t meet your expectations. Reflect on the following:
What feedback did the situation provide about your approach?
What adjustments could you make to improve your results in the future?
How can you test these adjustments in a similar context?
Apply this mindset to one upcoming challenge and observe how the shift in perspective influences your experience.
Consider This
What would change in your life if you stopped labeling outcomes as failures and started treating them as feedback? How might this perspective make challenges feel more manageable and even exciting?
Final Thoughts
The eleventh presupposition of NLP invites us to view life as a series of experiments, where every result offers valuable feedback. We become more adaptable, resilient, and empowered to grow by embracing this mindset.
In the next subscriber-only post, we’ll explore the twelfth presupposition: The meaning of communication is the response you get.
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