Why NLP Gets a Bad Name
And Why I Still Use It
Last week at a networking event, someone asked me a question:
Why do you think NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) gets a bad name?
My answer was simple:
Some people are making promises that NLP was never meant to keep.
To be fair, I don't think that's coming from bad intentions.
Sometimes, it's because they were trained by people who are just passing along what they learned.
Other times, it's the reality of a noisy world where people say big things to get attention. (And let's be honest, that's not unique to NLP.)
When people say they love or hate NLP, I've found it's usually based on one thing: the techniques.
They either worked or... they didn't.
And I think that misses the bigger picture.
Richard Bandler, one of the co-creators of NLP, described it this way:
"NLP is an attitude and a methodology that leaves behind a trail of techniques."
That line has shaped how I think about NLP.
Let's break it down:
The attitude is curiosity.
The methodology is modeling—studying people who've achieved something we admire, then unpacking what they believe, value, and do to create those results.
The techniques?
They came later.
They were discovered through modeling people who were excellent at what they did.
This is how I use NLP in my work.
Not just running techniques.
Not looking for quick hacks.
It's taking a curious, structured, and flexible approach to helping people get the results they want.
That's also why models like the Five Principles of Success matter so much to me:
Know what you want
Take action
Have sensory acuity
Have behavioral flexibility
Operate from a physiology and psychology of excellence
Now, to be fully transparent, NLP is not without controversy. Many of its ideas and techniques haven't been rigorously validated by scientific research, and experts have challenged some claims. I know that, and it's important to be honest about it.
Here's the thing…
Without relying on "magic bullet" techniques, the mindset, models, and methodology of NLP can move people forward. It's about using the right tool for the right job. If one tool doesn't work, we try something else.
Because, at its core, NLP isn't a set of tricks.
It's a way of paying attention to what works and doing more of it.
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